She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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