dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You ruined the universe
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
