Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Congratulations! We have a period
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