how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
