if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
whose ass print is on the piano?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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