So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
