I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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