We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
