don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
