ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
