did you get engaged???
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize