How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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