im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
