Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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