Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
