i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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