Christians are straight up FREAKS
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
