..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
