Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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