Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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