And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
