Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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