My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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