No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
