Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
