Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
