its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
