normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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