Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
