I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He did a backflip because drugs
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
