Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
