question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
There r osticjed everywhere
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
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