so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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