Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
