he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
