After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize