My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
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she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
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You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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