Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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