you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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