remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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