Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
No subtext here. People are naked.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
