Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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