Christians are straight up FREAKS
My first STD was from a foam party
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
