i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
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