You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
