He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
