If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
