You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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