oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
