is your mom at the bar?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
