That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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