I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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