You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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