the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
