I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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