Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
