Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I wish there were birth control emojis
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
