smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
whose parrot is this?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
