not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
