so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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