you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
