Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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