i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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