I think my fart just growled at me.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
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you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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