he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
